November

Well, I should be in the 160s right now, but instead I am 50 pounds off course. I am bigger than I have ever been in my entire life and it feels totally and completely awful. My weigh in for today slotted me in at 209.

Go ahead. Cringe. You know you want to.

I completely underestimated how lazy I am when I don't have school.

I have been in graduate school for almost 3 months now and things are evening out. This week Tarver and I have been exercising regularly. Eating is what takes me down. Exercising is not hard, but keeping control over the way I eat has been nearly impossible. When I reread my blog, it's the biggest stumbling block I've had all the way.

This morning I read my blog over and thought about all the reasons I wanted to lose weight in the first place, and reflected on "what the hell happened" to me.

So, let's reflect, shall we?

• Graduation week followed very quickly by moving week threw me off of a good schedule
• Having no schedule all summer made it difficult to make a schedule.
• I got complacent at 190lbs.
• Starting graduate school seemed to be a bad time to start anything else. In retrospect, there is NEVER a bad time to take control of my life.

Here's the story, everyone. This month is November. My goal is not to eat less or work out more, but to just write in my blog every day, keep track of what I do eat and just try to make blogging and exercising a habit again. Doing it all at once sets me up for failure.

I am hardcore and I can do this.