Nutritionist

Today I had a super-exciting meeting with the Healthy U nutritionist. We had a chat about my pre-diabetic status and what that all means and how I can make it go away. It turns out that having a high glucose level doesn't have a lot to do with sugar-- it has a lot more to do with having a wide range of calorie intakes (this week my lowest day was 1,500, my highest almost 5,250.) Having that range of calories apparently confuses my liver. Also, eating at weird, random times of the day also makes my liver a little angry.

So, her #1 thing for me this week was to EAT SOMETHING EVERY 4 HOURS!

I never in my life imagined I would have a nutritionist telling me to eat more. But she's a LDE a Licensed Diabetes Educator, so I suppose I should trust her that this is what I need to do to avoid getting the dreaded disease.

I also need to start exercising. I have absolutely been a lazy-butt and need to get on that.

I have been a much better eater though, that's been good. I have successfully integrated about 2 apples and an orange into each day this past week-- I don't see why that shouldn't continue for you know, the rest of my life. :)

I am thinking about getting involved in other types of fruits and such-- we'll see if I can make another week with 2 apples and an orange each day.

Thanks for reading, all four of you! <3

So this is try 53

Last Tuesday I started the Healthy U program at my school. This will be incredibly beneficial because now I'm in a group and I've paid money for

~A personal trainer twice a week

~Nutrition consultations

~Group therapy for my inevitable BED/CED

It is a little helpful now that I'm in a helping profession and spend some time with a DSM to note that there was a reason I struggled so much with food last spring-- I fit the criteria for both Binge Eating Disorder and Compulsive Eating Disorder.

Last week before the program I went to the doctor and got weighed and had my blood tested. I'm at 220 pounds and I am pre-diabetic. O.O

So part of the program is to keep a food journal of everything you eat. I've been doing this for 5 days now-- the results are shocking. The first day I do okay at about 1,700 calories, but then I go on a trip to the cities for a seminar and all hell breaks loose. The next three days are 2,336; 5,180; 3293. That is a LOT of calories. That's basically out of control. And if you had asked me how much I ate those days before I counted it all up-- I would have said I was pretty good. Who knew the breakfast I was having at the hotel was 910 calories?!

So I'm not making any promises about coming back to my blog (I've been neglectful, I'm sorry) but I'll probably update at least once a week to say how this is all going and at least whether I can get my eating under control. I've said it before that exercising is rarely the hard part.

Thanks guys <3

Working

Tuesdays are my big scary long days so today there was no exercising, but I felt like I was able to make some good decisions about food-- namely that between my business at the clinic I did not go out to a fast-food place, even though that is what I wanted to do.

Tomorrow is Wednesday that means more food control and exercising! Hooray!

10 hours of class is too much for one day, for serious. I'm going to bed!!!

Day 2.

According to my wii fit I have in fact lost 2 pounds since yesterday. Oh weight loss is such a funny thing isn't it?

Here are my very attainable goals for today:

~breakfast (eggs)

~Soup for lunch (Yay soup)

~Exercise in the afternoon

~Homework.

See, that doesn't seem so hard? That seems pretty doable. If I can just do this every day for you know, a year... O.O

November

Well, I should be in the 160s right now, but instead I am 50 pounds off course. I am bigger than I have ever been in my entire life and it feels totally and completely awful. My weigh in for today slotted me in at 209.

Go ahead. Cringe. You know you want to.

I completely underestimated how lazy I am when I don't have school.

I have been in graduate school for almost 3 months now and things are evening out. This week Tarver and I have been exercising regularly. Eating is what takes me down. Exercising is not hard, but keeping control over the way I eat has been nearly impossible. When I reread my blog, it's the biggest stumbling block I've had all the way.

This morning I read my blog over and thought about all the reasons I wanted to lose weight in the first place, and reflected on "what the hell happened" to me.

So, let's reflect, shall we?

• Graduation week followed very quickly by moving week threw me off of a good schedule
• Having no schedule all summer made it difficult to make a schedule.
• I got complacent at 190lbs.
• Starting graduate school seemed to be a bad time to start anything else. In retrospect, there is NEVER a bad time to take control of my life.

Here's the story, everyone. This month is November. My goal is not to eat less or work out more, but to just write in my blog every day, keep track of what I do eat and just try to make blogging and exercising a habit again. Doing it all at once sets me up for failure.

I am hardcore and I can do this.

Really trying.

Hi again everyone! Some updates:

I'm finally starting to exercise every day again. My brand new, fancy-shmancy Wii Fit has been helping me out. I've come to the conclusion that the scale I bought is very very wrong because both at the doctors office the other day and on the Wii fit I'm floating around 196. Which sucks, but considering how bad I've been this summer, I just need to suck it up. It is what it is.

Now that I'm getting a little bit of a schedule back into my life (ignore the fact that I'm writing this at 1am) I'm feeling more positive. Graduate school, though it's going to kick my butt, is going to give me the structure necessary to get back on track.

I'm considering going on a more serious type of diet than I have in the past starting with school. Tay and Tarver say that I am not allowed to go on a liquid diet. I say, neither of them have a BMI above 30 (or 31, or 32.) But I don't think the liquid diet thing is for me. I'm looking at doing meal-replacement. Obviously this isn't the sort of thing I'd want to just do! Surprise! I'm doing some research and seeing if it's right for me.

I'm 22. I'm 5'5" and I weigh almost 200 pounds. Something needs to change and yes, it does need to be a little drastic.

I've exercised every day in August thusfar. I can do this.

About my new scale--

So, Morning weigh-in: 186.

Which is sort of unbelievable. And by sort of I mean, that would be a lowest-low if it was at all accurate. Dude. But I'm thinking it's not. I'm thinking I'll have to bring back my new scale. I'm not into the 180s yet I don't think. I know what I feel like in the 180s and this isn't it.

Heading out to BL to be with the Fam! Got in a good, intense hour-long workout today. It felt good :) The struggle is, and always will be, FOOD.

<3 <3 <3

Thanks for reading!